| So, Wendy, I didnt know where to write my good-byes to you, on account of i never before seeing your myspace so i wasnt your myspace friend. i couldnt write you a comment, saying how much i missed you like everyone else cause of that, if you can believe it. I found out yesterday night that you had died on tuesday, like most other people. by now, im sure most of the school knows. (myspace news travels fast, of course). I cant tell you how many times ive visited your myspace now, too late, but still. i saw the last login date on your myspace, and it said 8/24, so i guess that someone was still manning your ms. so, now im finally a friend on your myspace, a few days too late, and i know there were so many things i wanted to say to you. but i cant seem to type them up anymore.
You know, i still kind of remember the first time i met you. you and all the other freshmen. you guys were so loud and energetic; god, i hated it. happy and giggly all the time, like the world was so perfect and we were all young and immortal. of course, that defies everythign i believe in, so it was natural that i was already annoyed by you before i met you. every time i saw you, i was always stressed, and you were always happy. i dont know how many people remember, but there was a time when you couldnt decide between swimming and softball. i was like my god, the answer is softball and if you dont realize it, we can afford to lose you to swimming. but of course, you loved softball, just like the rest of us, and i could never fully get rid of you.
you were overexuberant in joy and energy, and i could never be like you. you were young and restless, and, sorry to quote a song, but even the best fall down sometimes. i know everyone is sad about what happened, and we all realize that it's the farthest thing from what you would have wanted us to feel, but it's hard when you lose something so pure.
you know, it's weird. i've cried more and less than i thought i would. i wouldve thought that i would have either not cried at all, or cried so much i looked drunk. the first time i cried was yesterday night. i found out through people's profiles on aim, and of course on myspace, and i dunno what happened. it hit me, but it didnt. i mean, i guess i understood that you were gone, but i dont think ill fully know until your funeral next thursday. it's hard on all of us, i guess, especially cause there are so many people out there who dont deserve to live, but you, who were always so optimistic about life and what it had to offer, were the one who had to go.
i'm on aim right now, and people keep randomly IMing me, which is the point of AIM, i guess, but it's pissing me off. and on myspace, too. how people are still posting up stupid bulletins about stupid love tests and that other crap. basically, how people are living normally, while you cant anymore. and i know it's wrong of me to expect otherwise, but i just dont know.
we're going to frame your jersey, you know. the softball team. the plan is to chip in and get you a bouquet of flowers, then sign the frame. before i called eddie, i was at a total loss of what to get you. first i was thinking a single red rose, but then i thought maybe a softball, or even my glove. im starting to think that was kind of drastic, and that a letter for you would be more suitable. i just dont know anymore. my thoughts lie with your family, who so luckily knew you so much better. you were an angel brought into my life, wendy. and i will take away your optimism and charisma for life, and live life as spontaneously as i can. cause that's what you taught me. me and all those books id be carrying. life is what you make it out to be, and you, wendy ly, made life a beautiful treasure that ended too soon. i know you have no regrets, how could you with that kind of attitude. but i do, and i just want to take the time to say sorry for all those times id be curt with you when id see you in Ms. stein's or anywhere else. i want to say that those times i was busy and in a hurry, but i know thats not true. a lot of the time, your happiness was too much for me, a creature who thrives in trepidation and anguish, to bear.
in my phone book on my cell phone, your name is there, and i saw it, and started crying profusely. it's amazing how all these memories are rushing back, and how i can't stand typing them all up. watch out for us, and take care. every moment we play on the field is dedicated to you. every time i'm down, but i pick myself back up, that will be thanks to you.
i love and miss you dearly, wendy ly.
R.I.P. Wendy
Oct 21, 1991- Aug 22, 2006 |
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